What She Wants You to Wear... at a Music Festival

Growing up in a strict Catholic family, we weren't allowed to listen to rock music, and actual concerts were strictly forbidden. As nature would have it, the restriction made the allure of such things all the more seductive. And by the time I made it to college, I consumed rock, hip-hop, and electronica shows ravenously. Nothing slaked my thirst like the sprawling festivals known as SXSW, Winter Music Conference, Coachella—basically any sun-baked, beer-soaked, back-destroying rock marathon.
At the time, I saw anyone over the age of 22 as the enemy and an outsider, weakly flaunting band ephemera and festival regalia. I would glare at them as they danced, pumped their fists, and dared to claim my favorite bands as their own. Music was for us kids, I thought. As it happens, I've now become the enemy.
But the question remains: How does one survive and celebrate a music festival without looking square, undignified, or like one of those scowling minors? Us girls have it easier: sundress, boots, hat, done. For you gentlemen, the task is more delicate. Still, there are opportunities to carefully break some rules, as you'll see below. Isn't that what rock'n'roll is all about?

The Jewelry

Not a lot. (Never a lot.) But a well-chosen bracelet to complement your watch? That's a good bet. Girls will not be able to resist asking you about a really interesting piece. Then you buy her a Lone Star and say you have a plus-one for the secret Jay-Z show.

The Shirt

Undoing that one extra shirt button is frowned upon in real life. But at Bonaroo and the like, it conveys a sense of louche, '70s cool (not to mention literal cooling powers). Make sure you're not showing off too much chest hair, though, and roll up your sleeves accordingly. Also: a new-ish shirt with no stains or holes. You're going for casual here, not disheveled.

The Hat

Ditch the baseball cap and try something a bit more daring. A vintage bandana may keep the sweat out of your eyes, but a wide-brimmed felt hat might convince her you're in the band. In any case, you'll definitely need protection from the sun—particularly if you're thinning on top. No shame.

The Boots

Try for something with a little height, but not so much that you might be mistaken for someone who wandered off the ranch. A pair of classic desert boots will provide ankle support, protection from broken glass, and give you an extra an extra inch or so. Which you'll need to see the band, anyway.
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And above all, no matter what sideways looks college girls give you, don't ever stop dancing. That's the best look any man can bring, no matter what he's wearing along with it.

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